How can I even begin to describe what the last six months have been like for us? The joy and emotion we've felt for this boy is indescribable.
In some ways it feels like he's been with us for so much longer (what was life even like without him?), and in other ways I just can't believe that he's already six months old. Such mixed feelings... which is kind of what motherhood does to you. Jumbles your feelings. Scrambles your thoughts. Scatters your actions. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
So what have the last six months been for us? Well...
Love. Fun. Joy. Suspense. Anxiety. Laughter. Change. Expectation. Pressure.
But mainly Total and Utter LOVE!
I love everything about him. His smile, his laugh, his cry, his squeals, his giggles, his little 'om nom nom' noises as he's eating, his cuddles, his kisses, his look of pride as he sits up on his own, his look of pure happiness as he swings at the park, his concentration as he tries to grab anything (and everything) in sight, his joy when he sees his daddy arrive home from work, his ability to turn bad days into the best days, his ability to turn the best days into even better days. Every moment and every milestone is treasured.
Motherhood brings so many different emotions. On top of that pure love and happiness you feel, there is that feeling of pressure and anxiety... is what I am doing right? Am I doing all I can? Am I doing the best I can? I'm using this 'Happy Half Birthday' as my time to reflect. To answer these questions upon myself.
There's a piece of advice I was given as I set out on this journey of motherhood and it was simple.
You are his mother and you will always know what is best for him.
Honestly and seriously, it is this piece of advice that gets me through. I will admit that at times my husband has to remind me. I do lose track of how I'm going. But I'm lucky enough to have a husband who is supportive and brings me back to what's real. And he reminds me that I am Xavier's mother and I will always know what is best for him.
So, on his 'Happy Half Birthday', I'm content. We've done good. We have a happy, healthy, content, beautiful baby boy. He brings us more joy than we could have ever imagined and our lives and hearts are full.
To my darling boy.
Happy Half Birthday!
Love, Mummy xx
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| Welcome Xavier - 30minutes old |
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| In the car ready to go home from the hospital |
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| Month 1 |
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| Month 2 |
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| Month 3 |
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| Month 4 |
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| Month 5 |
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| And on his Happy Half Birthday |
** It's taken me a few days to post this article, however it was written on 25th November 2012.
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